Wednesday, March 01, 2006

The New Office Computer

Ok, just a word to the wise. If your boss, purchasing manager, business parter or significant other ever comes to you with the idea that they would like to purchase a brand-spankin'-new emachine computer because they come loaded with software and are dirt cheap, take a deep breath. Then, ask them this simple question.

"So, when you bring that machine in here and plug it in, and you begin to lose all your information, have to reboot every 20 minutes all day long, fail to meet deadlines, take up swearing, suffer anxiety attacks, nervous tics, develop nose bleeds, take up drugs, miss tons of work, quit the job and then finally join a cult and move to Guyana, can I take the $80 you saved and buy a handsome desk clock?

"Because, you know, I can then take that handsome clock and put it in the same place that your computer will occupy up until the time I'm forced to take a sledgehammer and bash that piece of shit emachine all to pieces."
Quiet! I'm fantasizing.

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