Oh, Deer!

Wanted: the hood, radiator, both headlights, mounts, grille, and any other mangled or shattered apparatus normally found underneath an otherwise uncrumpled hood, (the number and identities of which cannot be ascertained due to difficulties in visually inspecting the areas lying beneath the inoperable and mangled members) of a sleek, red, 1994 Eagle Summit SE all-wheel-drive automobile, that was summarily impacted by a member of what had heretofore been touted by the Michigan Department of Natural Resources as a greatly thinned white tail herd that landed, after impact, within the boundaries of the bovine TB quarantine area of northeast lower Michigan.

I will also entertain any offers anyone might have for a warm winter coat and a pair of good winter walking shoes.