Michiganders Attempt To Spike Auto Sales

With the recent troubles besetting the big three auto manufacturers, all of who have a huge impact on Michigan's economy, Michiganders are becoming more and more creative in their efforts to improve auto sales and save a few state jobs. As I drove home from Grand Rapids today I noted two such efforts.

A gentleman driving a dark brown Dodge cargo van felt he could encourage the purchase of a new vehicle by changing lanes while driving directly beside me and forcing me off the freeway and into a concrete barrier. I was able to dodge the Dodge-wielding capitalist and the barrier by hitting the brakes and navigating the highway shoulder without losing control, despite dedicating one entire hand to flipping him off.

Thirty miles farther on, the operator of a bright red Chevrolet SUV felt that she could initiate an auto sale by rapidly overtaking me, tailgated me, changing to the left lane, speeding around me like a crazed capitalist, and then nearly brushing my bumper as she crossed my lane to exit off the freeway. By braking hard I was able to escape the SUV, but alas, my perfectly executed flip was rendered ineffective as she sped down the ramp without taking a sideways glance.

Those concerned about lagging domestic auto sales should understand that I am driving a rental right now because a deer tried the same cut-off maneuver on me last week. I already have to get another car. Don't make me flip you off.