Red Wings on Versus--Guess Who Won't Be Watching

I hope I am reading this wrong, but it appears as if only game 5 of the upcoming Detroit Red Wings/Dallas Stars playoff series will be available for me to watch in northern Michigan. And, if the Red Wings should happen to advance beyond this round, the first two games of the Stanley Cup finals will also be off limits (at least if you can believe much of anything that Wikipedia has to say about the NHL-Versus television contract.) Radio? Ken Kal's voice doesn't reach this far.

To make matters worse, earlier this year the nitwit NHL signed a three year extension with Versus which will make it difficult for me to watch playoff hockey right through the end of the 2010-2011 season.

Now, don't give me that "go to the bar and watch it" bullshit either. I'm not going to watch a game that has to compete with a juke box, a pool table, a drunken (and sadly aging-breasted) karaoke star wannabe, Jennifer Granholm's Club Keno farce and the gratuitous so-thick-you-could-cut-them-with-a-knife carcinogens. Truthfully, I could probably take the smoke if need be, but keep that karaoke broad in the next county.

It sucks to have followed the club all year long only to be essentially blacked out for the playoffs. I wish I had not watched at all.

I will not be making this mistake again. A ceremonial Red Wing paraphernalia burning will take place tonight in my fire pit, along with an effigy of Gary Bettman (providing I can find my colored pencils and a couple of dog droppings for eyes.)

The NHL is dead to me. Don't send any cards.