It's a Win, Win, Win, Win Situation!

It isn't hard to figure out why chronically undereducated union thugs overwhelmingly voted for Barack Obama for president. Payback!

"I do not view the labor movement as part of the problem. To me, it's part of the solution," he said, to a round of applause. "You cannot have a strong middle class without a strong labor movement."

Somewhere Jimmy Hoffa is smiling.

These comments made on a day when The Obama signed three separate executive orders aimed at helping to reinvigorate the union movement by undoing Bush era policies.

This is why pandering socialist lawyers should never be granted the reins for government. Ambulance chasing suits do not know or care what it takes to keep a business' doors open.

Forcing American companies to pay more for workers than the market will bear is a great way to encourage struggling companies trying to compete either to relocate overseas or to close their doors forever. Does it matter? No, because leftists have solutions for this too!

Unemployment benefits and retraining can be offered to displaced workers, fleeing companies can be punished through protectionist legislation that forces consumers to buy American, welfare benefits can be provided to consumers that cannot afford the inflated prices brought on my union scale wages and highly taxed foreign products, and subsidies can be offered to unprofitable industries that stay in America so that belligerent workforces can go on strike every couple of years for job security, better pay, health care, and ten weeks of vacation.

It's a win, win, win, win situation!

In this new age of corporate bailouts, profits have become strictly optional. All that is really necessary is a benevolent Messiah capable of spreading out a little manna, and clearly we already have one of those.

The President's most sensible move of the day might have been putting Joe Biden in charge of a middle-class task force to study the plight of common citizens. Certainly a guy that once sat in a now-closed diner in 70s Delaware knows all about what it takes to survive as a struggling member of the middle class.

Hair plugs just scream empathy.