An Apple That Fell Next To The Tree, Grabbed a Ladder, and Climbed Right Back Up

I present to you John Conyers III.

It's difficult to raise a child properly these days among the mean streets of Detroit.

Seriously, even if highly paid congressional staffers do your babysitting for you, even if the staffers run the kids to and from location, even if you let the gentle cherubs themselves jaunt around town inside taxpayer provided luxury Cadillacs with well stocked bars, it's still hard.


John III asks 'Is it too early to pop a bottle?' as he sits behind the wheel of a Cadillac I suspect might be being leased by the taxpayers.

Well, I have no idea what time of day it was when the picture was snapped, but with him being just twenty years old I'd say the bottle popping took place before he became of legal drinking age.

So, yeah, its at least a bit early.

By my count there are at least three laws being broken (if the bottle actually gets popped) in this one snapshot. Then again, I cannot tell if his seat belt is on.

Don't worry about any of this however. I'm certain that John I and his incarcerated wife will quickly take care of the problem by paying back any money owed for the vehicle's usage--because that will, like, totally erase the illegality of the whole incident.

Then they're going to have to chew the asses off all those staffers that allowed things to get so out of hand.