Bread Crumbs With Salt

cross posted at Right Michigan

In the past week, Democrats have done two things that should really surprise us.

First, most Democrats, including Michigan's own Bart Stupak, came out in support of the Comprehensive American Energy Security and Consumer Protection Act (CAESCPA). The bill was supported by Nancy "I'm saving the world" Pelosi, Carolyn "I'm saving y'all's boy's job" Sheets Kilpatrick, and William "I'm just saving my cold $90,000" Jefferson. In fact, all but 13 voting Democrats voted in favor of the bill. All but 15 Republicans voted against the act.

However, the bill was dead in the water shortly after passage as it lacked the 60 votes it needed to pass the Senate, and would have been vetoed by President Bush if it ever did reach his desk. This fact helped lead to this week's second development which I will discuss a bit later.

First things first.

You can imagine my shock that Bart Stupak and his fellow Democrats, who have made political careers out of strongly resisting the temptation to expand the usage of fossil fuels, had suddenly made an apparent 180 degree shift in their philosophies by passing the CAESCPA. They had miraculously had a change of heart and had decided that they liked drilling after all, or are at least were willing to reluctantly accept it as part of an overall energy solution. Don't you dare call them obstructionist!

From Bart's website:

The Democratic energy bill opens at least 319 million acres on the Outer Continental Shelf and 22.6 million acres in Alaska to drilling.

Wow. Bart Stupak sounds almost like the second coming of J. Paul Getty.

In fact, Stupak was publicly willing to admit that this monumental first step toward drilling was a huge retreat from his previous outspoken anti-drilling position. He realized that the passage of this bill would give the "drill here, drill now" crowd a big victory. He threw conservatives a large meaty bone, reached across the aisle, and swallowed some of his pride for the good of the country. He took this one for the team. There was nothing in it for him at all, other than a vast dose of humility.

So, after imagining my shock at Stupak's behavior for doing an about face on drilling, you can try to imagine Stupak's shock at the conservatives' behavior for not meeting him half way and grasping his outstretched hand. Many teeth were gnashed and shoulders shrugged after a largely party line vote passed the measure.

U.S. Congressman Bart Stupak (D-Menominee) voted in support of H.R. 6899, the Comprehensive American Energy Security and Consumer Protection Act, which passed the House 236-189, despite a surprising lack of support from Republicans who have been calling for a vote to expand domestic oil and gas drilling.

Emphasis mine.

Indeed, it is very surprising that the Republicans didn't accept at face value the bone just hurled by Stupak that clunked them on the head. Here he had offered to meet Republicans half way, backtracking from a position very fundamental to his environmental philosophy, only to have it thrown back in his face. No wonder he got so huffy.

Well, it turns out that CAESCPA was much more than just an act that supposedly opened up more areas to drilling. What this bill did offer was a plethora of Democrat supported interventionist measures into the energy industry while it poured billions of dollars into environmental causes. And, just for good measure, it also contained a poison pill that would have effectively killed the expanded drilling portion by forcing states that approve the drilling in their waters to do so with zero revenue from the oil extracted. It was the equivalent of a double-secret-fingers-crossed-wink-wink handshake designed to fool gullible voters into thinking Democrats really had changed their minds on offshore drilling.

Bart Stupak and the Democrats believe we are dumb enough to fall for this sort of garbage. This is exactly the type of representation I want in Washington; representation where any ability I might have to think for myself is discounted by those wiser than myself occupying a DC office. I truly appreciate Bart in times like this. I need his beneficence and reasoning. I truly believe that Bart Stupak would make a fine Pope. Or emperor. Or Jeopardy host.

But, what I most appreciate about Bart Stupak and the Democrats is their willingness to allow me to pretend to myself that I do have a brain in my head. That poison pill was pure genius and could so easily be overlooked by a doofus like me--it was only by the will of God that I even noticed it humbly sitting there like a two-foot tarantula in my bathtub. To think I might have scrubbed my back with it.

Democrats are more than willing to gingerly lead me through my thought processes while keeping the bread crumbs as inconspicuous as possible--I barely even notice that my stomach isn't grumbling any more. Being dumb is no walk in the park, and knowing that I am dumb is no piece of cake either. But having a Congress and Congressman willing to pacify my sheep mentality while trying to keep the glaring depth of my gullibility a secret from me removes a tremendous burden from my self esteem. Its as if Alex Trebek himself sneaked a few little kid questions into Double Jeopardy, just for my fragile ego's benefit. "I'll take blathering Congressmen for $2000, Alex." Cha-ching!

But, perhaps Bart and Company are wrong in their assessment of exactly how many bread crumbs we are willing to swallow. Despite their best attempts at painting today's energy crisis as the sole creation of failed Republican energy policy, voters aren't buying it. By large majorities, voters do want an expansion of offshore drilling.

Which brings me to the second development.

Just yesterday, Democrats announced they would allow a moratorium on offshore oil drilling to expire. Upon hearing the news I put an aspirin under my tongue, just to be safe.

It is quite well known that Democrats are not friends of big oil or little oil for that matter. (Rumor has it they even hates 'em some medium oil.) They have very consistently said that the US must not only wean itself off of foreign oil, but that it must also wean itself off of domestic oil. By noon, preferably.

As everyone knows, oil is a fossil fuel, the burning of which emits the Earth-toxic greenhouse gas called "carbon dioxide." This is the same horrible gas that is emitted by human beings and endangered polar bears when they exhale, though seemingly not as dangerous as the sometimes silent but deadly methane produced by the ton in Congress and on dairy farms. Many Democrats, including Bart Stupak, are also stalwart advocates of the Kyoto Protocol, designed by the United Nations to ostensibly help rein in the global production of greenhouse gases by moving factory production from relatively clean US facilities to pollution belting venues in third world countries. They are wise in that way.

After the slight of hand used in the CAESCPA just last week, can we reasonably believe that a second, more powerful epiphany has just occurred? Do the Democrats really mean it this time? Are they really going to support offshore drilling just as soon as this upcoming election is over? Have they suddenly decided to backtrack on years of rhetoric and one of the cornerstones of their political platform?

This November, Democrats will almost assuredly control the House and the Senate. There is a very good chance they will also control the White House.

If you don't mind, I'm going to take this next bread crumb with a large grain of salt.