Top Ten Reasons Why Not To Hold Your Next Convention In Detroit

10. You will probably have to book on Northwest.
9. Our Shrek isn't the green one.
8. Who will recycle your sludge?
7. Detroit Public Schools is to provide the motivational speaker.
6. A full one third of the Supremes might be indicted before you even arrive.
5. The FBI could be recording everything.
4. Alonzo Bates hired the wait staff.
3. Monica Conyers is cruising the hotel lobby looking for free drinks.
2. The best strippers are already booked at the Manoogian.
1. The Mogadishu Convention Center is still available.

My apologies to former Supreme and current Detroit City Council member Martha Reeves for the indictment crack. But, after uttering this sort of blathering idiocy, I simply could not resist.