Despite more than 100 eye witnesses, a deranged sexual pervert in Illinois will not be charged with sexual assault after he modified his reciprocating saw and jammed the powered up instrument inside of a woman's vagina for nearly three minutes.
Well, first, because the woman sorta liked it, and second because it was all part of an attendance optional demonstration in a class on human sexuality at Northwestern University. The demonstration took place at the Ryan Family Auditorium, though the Ryan Family has not yet commented on whether they would prefer that the venue have its name changed to the Ryan Family Adult Theater.
The demonstration was conceived of by psychology professor John Michael Bailey who thinks its peachy for college students, some of who enter college at the ripe old age of 17, to imagine the sensual heights achievable when one's garage is full of power tools.
Professor Bailey defended the unusual demonstration, saying in a statement: 'The students find the events to be quite valuable, typically, because engaging real people in conversation provides useful examples and extensions of concepts students learn about in traditional academic ways.'But parents, please don't be concerned with the character of the sex toy wielder because he is, after all, a professional sex-ed teacher.
Speaking of sex education...let's put it on a global scale!
From the Other McCain:
“Oral sex, masturbation, and orgasms need to be taught in education,” Diane Schneider told the audience at a [United Nations conference] panel on combating homophobia and transphobia. Schneider, representing the National Education Association (NEA), the largest teachers union in the US, advocated for more “inclusive” sex education in US schools. . . . She claimed that the idea of sex education remains an oxymoron if it is abstinence-based, or if students are still able to opt-out.To which McCain writes:
Comprehensive sex education is “the only way to combat heterosexism and gender conformity,” Schneider proclaimed, “and we must make these issues a part of every middle and high-school student’s agenda.” . . .
A panel sponsored in part by the UN Population Fund (UNFPA) advocated for “comprehensive sex education” not only as a tool to combat “gender oppression,” but also as the key to achieving all of the Millennium Development Goals.
Think about it: Of all the problems affecting the world, America’s leading organization of teachers is urging the United Nations “to combat heterosexism and gender conformity” by teaching “oral sex, masturbation, and orgasms”? Because that’s exactly what’s needed by impoverished villagers in Bolivia, Botswana, Belize and Burkina Faso.We've just got to get these people together! For the children.